사람이 소를 죽이는 것을 봤고 개를 죽이는 것을 봤다. 사람이 사람을 찌르는 것을 봤고 목을 죄는 것을 봤고 혼자 죽는 것도 봤다. 선과 악은 인간이 나눈 종이 한 장 차이라는 문장을 읽었고 아담과 이브가 선악과를 먹고 알몸이 부끄러워 가렸다는 문장을 읽었다. 사람이 사람을 수십 번 찔렀고 빨갛지 않은 곳 없이 죽어갔다. 죽은 사람은 말이 없지만 찌른 사람은 ‘평생 이렇게 살아야 하는 것처럼 생각이 드니 죽고 싶은 마음이 들었다’ 라고 말했다. 우리를 살인마로 만들지 않은 수많은 기회들을 생각한다. 피해자를 치료했던 의사는 처참했던 상황과 괴물이었던 사람을 서술하며
’생전에 그를 알던 사람들의 슬픔을 비견할 수 없는 것이라는 사실을 잘 알고 있다. 사회적으로 재발이 방지되기를 누구보다도 강력히 바란다. 그래서 이 언급이 다시금 그 불씨나 도화선이 되기를 바란다’
라고 말했다. 어디선가 나올 법 한 악마에 가까운 사람은 ‘제 말이 닿지는 않겠지만 죄송합니다’ 라고 말했다. 내 말이 닿지는 않겠지만 당신은 천벌을 받고 사회에 사는 나는 살인마를 만든 우리의 책임을 통감한다. 피해자를 치료했던 의사는 덧붙였다.
‘그럼에도 이 글에서 무기력함이 느껴진다면 그것은 어쩔 수 없다 우리 모두는 이 사건에 대한 무기력함의 지분이 있을 것이기 때문이다’
이 작업은 강서구 pc방 살인사건의 피의자 김성수의 기자회견에서 시작한다. 그가 저질렀던 잔혹한 살인과는 다르게 그는 ‘말’을 내뱉는다. 유가족에게 제 목소리가 들리지 않을 것을 알고 있다. 피해자가 본인을 무시했던 행동에 대해 말한다. 본인은 지금껏 그렇게 무시 받으며 살아왔다고 말한다. 다시 평생을 그렇게 살아갈 것을 생각하니 죽고 싶었다고 말한다. 김성수의 가족이 감형을 위해 우울증 진단서를 제출했지만 그는 아니라고 한다. 저지른 죗값을 받겠다 말한다. 기자회견에서 그는 공황발작이 일어난 듯이 숨을 쉬기 힘들어했지만 또박또박 ‘말’을 한다. 그의 ‘말’을 듣고 있자니 저 사람을 저 자리에 서게 만든 것은 무엇이었을까 하는 의문이 생긴다. 피의자와 피해자를 치료했던 의사의 짜깁기한 대사들을 한 사람이 읊는 것으로 우리가 함께 사회에서 길러냈을 지도 모를 범죄자에 대한 이야기를 한다.
In 2018, there was an indescribably terrible murder was happened by Kim Seong-soo. He killed a man who was working at an internet cafe in Gangseo which is the western part of Seoul. This case is widely known as ‘Gangseo internet cafe murder case’ in Koreans.
The victim was working at the internet cafe and Kim Seong-soo was a user at that time. Kim asked the victim to clean up his table, but the victim ignored and an argument started between the two. According to Kim, the victim said that his father is a police officer and Kim is a worthless person unless Kim could have the power to kill him. Kim added, he flashbacked his life which has always been ignored by people and he did not want to live this life anymore. He decided to kill the victim and was about to kill himself. Kim viciously murdered the victim.
When I heard about this homicide case, I felt fear for the society I was living in. I searched for his press interview and was dumbfounded when he said that he knew exactly how terrible what he committed was and it seemed that he was aware that he would never be forgiven by the family of the victim. He said his homicide would never be acceptable to the family of the victim and he continuously apologizes to them. Kim’s statement stood out to me that he has always been ignored by people and he did not want to live his life anymore. I did not feel he made any excuses. It was totally different compared to other criminals I have seen all my life in the media. Kim’s family petitioned for a reduction in his sentence for the reason that he was mentally ill, even though Kim said he is not. It was confirmed by a specialist that he did not have any mental illnesses, and he was normal. Therefore, I wonder how he was able to kill someone and what triggered the murderer.
There is no excuse or reason for killing someone. However, his press interview has punched my mind for a while since the reason he killed the victim was so brief and clear. We all have the same experience of being ignored by somebody. We all have felt isolated from society. But, his fury was heading toward not an individual, it was towards society. The fact that the majority of offenders were from lower-income households also made me curious. Maybe we just had an opportunity to not be a criminal at a certain point, but he didn’t. Possibly, he may have been bred by our society.
While searching for this case, I happened to find a doctor’s blog whose name is Namgung In and he is the person who treated the victim. He described very concretely on his blog the occasion when he tried to save the victim’s life but he failed. He also narrated his feelings about when he saw the terribly damaged victim’s body. He also added that
"It seemed fundamentally impossible for a horrific murder like this to not happen again in our society. The victim could have been anyone. I sincerely hope to prevent reoccurring this terrible crime in our society. If you have found lethargy in my text, it is inevitable, because we all have a stake in the lethargy of this crime.”